Chapter Nineteen: D for Disaster

After their little adventure down to the Supermarket, Veronica went to call her family. Her nervous fingers slowly keyed in the numbers and she held her breath as she waited for someone to pick up.

Come on. She mentally commanded after the third ring. 

Maybe no one is home.. Came a later thought. 

Veronica was on the verge of hanging up when a someone finally answered. 

"Hello, sorry about the wait." Nina answered. 

"Hi Nina..uh, how are you?" Veronica asked unsure what to say. She was hoping she would have gotten her brother, but hope failed her this time. 

"Veronica? Hi. I'm fine." Nina was just as unsure on how to respond to Veronica. They hadn't talked since her visit to rehab and neither of them were 100% used to their new, peaceful relationship. "How's rehab?" 

"Rehab was helpful. I'm out now, that's why I called. I'm in a halfway house.." Veronica replied.

"Oh that's great! You should come over, if you can. The boys would love to see you I'm sure." Nina said. She wasn't entirely sure of what she had said until the words were already spoken. 

She regretted instantly inviting her over. Daniel nor Jeremy were home to confirm rather or not they'd want to see Veronica. But it was too late to take back now. All she could hope was Veronica would turn down her offer. 

"Sure." Veronica accepted.

"Great." Nina said. 

"Wonderful." Veronica replied. "I gotta go." She said suddenly and hung up. 

Veronica pondered over the brief conversation as she went to take a seat behind her. 

What had I done? She thought to herself. 

Veronica was still processing the thought of seeing her children after her time spent in jail and rehab. She didn't have to think too deeply to know Jeremy would be standoffish. After he turned 12, it had always been that way. It was as if all hope for Veronica was lost by that age. And Malcolm? Veronica worried if he would even remember her. He was still so young and although she was his mother, she certainly hadn't been stable in his life. 

"What's wrong with you?" Shane asked as she suddenly joined Veronica in the living room. Caught off guard, Veronica had jumped slightly. 

"Calm down. I'm not gonna bit ya." Shane joked. 

Veronica thought her new roommate had a strange sense of humor, but re-framed from sharing that. 

"I was just thinking." Veronica replied. 

"Thinking about tailing it out of here? Me too." Shane said. Veronica shook her head. 

"Oh? Well what's on your mind then?" Shane said, changing her tune. She took a seat. 

"My boys, my family. I'm suppose to see them tomorrow." Veronica said. 

"Then why do you look so down about it? I'd be jumping for joy." Shane said. 

"I just..I'm worried they might hate me." Veronica replied. 

"Hate you? You're their mother! They could never hate you." Shane said. 

Veronica wasn't sure if Shane was joking or being dead serious. 

"They would have good reason too.." Veronica started. 

"Bull. My eldest tried to guilt me once. Saying I was a shitty mother. I had to remind her that no matter what I did, I did my best to make sure they never wanted for nothing. Even if I had to sell my ass to God know's who. If your kids give you any lip, you smack their ungrateful asses." Shane said. 

Veronica didn't know Shane had kids or anything about the woman for that matter. Veronica was too ashamed to say her actions weren't for the benefit of her kids, but for her own selfish desires. Shane obviously wasn't perfect, but she seemed to care more about her children's well being than Veronica. So to avoid going down memory lane, she switched gears. 

"How many kids do you have?" Veronica asked. 

"Five. Four girls and a boy." Shane replied. 

"I have two boys." Veronica said. 

Before the two women could get further acquainted, a voice called out from down the hall.

"First meeting is starting in five, get ready!" 

The next morning, after she had gotten permission, Veronica began to get ready. She was still anxious about seeing her kids, Daniel and Nina, but she tried her best to hide it. 

Nina was up bright and early too. She had broke the news to both Daniel and Jeremy last night. Daniel wasn't too thrilled about being told at the last minute, but didn't put up an argument. Jeremy on the other hand, said that he had to work and would try to take the day off. His eyes said another story though, his eyes were saying he would be anywhere but home when Veronica came to visit. 

But that was yesterdays worries, Nina didn't want to cloud her head with negativity. She only hope that Jeremy showed up. 

As the morning progressed, Nina had seen Jeremy off to school, got herself ready for the day and then began to get Malcolm ready. He was always so happy in the morning. He never fussed, he just simply waited until someone freed him from his crib, he was such a sweet baby. 

"Morning love bug. Are you ready to see your mama today?" Nina asked with forced cheer. She wasn't entirely happy with Veronica coming to visit herself. It just reminded of her of the inevitable, that she'd be childless again. 

Malcolm stretched out his hands happily, oblivious to Nina's worries. 

The time had finally arrived for Veronica to make her debut. It was nearing 2 pm and Jeremy would be home soon, so it was the perfect time to have her come. Nina was the first to spot her and called out to Daniel. 

As she was holding Malcolm in her arms, she let Veronica inside. 

The two women smiled at each other and exchanged greetings, Daniel appeared out of the bedroom seconds later and greeted his sister too. 

Nina and Veronica continued to make small talk, until Daniel began to venture away from the group. They hadn't prepared lunch yet and so he opted to do it. 

"Nina why don't you help me?" Daniel suggested. 

Nina knew he didn't need help preparing something so simple as a Salad. 

"Put Malcolm down and come over here." He added. 

That was what he had meant. He wanted to tell her, indiscreetly, to let Veronica hold her son. 

"Right, here I come." Nina called back. She forced a small smile before placing the toddler on the ground.  

Veronica took the opportunity to pick Malcolm up. 

**My game crashed after this, so excuse Malcolm's mini wardrobe change**

"Oh Mama missed you so so much little guy. Have you been a good boy for your Aunt and Uncle?" Veronica said and hugged him close to her. She had forgotten how soft he felt, how love and innocence just radiated from him. 

"Mama" Malcolm simply replied. 

"Yes, mama is here and she's never leaving you again." She promised. 

Nina and Daniel had finished the salads. Well Daniel had, Nina was too distracted by watching Veronica interact with Malcolm. She was happy for him, she truly was. But she couldn't help but to feel jealous. She had been his "mother" for weeks now and Veronica walks in and it's as if she no longer matters. It broke her heart. 

"Veronica why don't you go to Malcolm's room? You can play with his toys with him." Daniel said upon seeing the sour look on Nina's face. He hoped that it would lighten her mood. 

"Nina.." Daniel called once the coast was clear. 

"Yes?" She answered from a short distance away.

"Come here." He said.

She turned around and joined him by the kitchen sink.

"What is it?" She asked. 

"It's okay." Daniel told her. 

Nina didn't bother to deny that anything was wrong, he wouldn't believe her anyways. She simply nodded her head. He kissed his wife, hoping to kiss away any negative thoughts still lingering in her mind. 

Veronica enjoyed watching her youngest son play with his Xylophone. He banged against the keys happily and even tried to chew on the stick a few times, but she enjoyed every moment of it. 

Time was passing by rapidly, so fast that she almost forgot Jeremy never came home. More time passed and they ate together. The salad was nothing special, but enjoying it with people who loved her felt nice. She even got to fed Malcolm for the first time in what felt like forever. Although he was a big boy and could hold the bottle himself, he happily accepted her help. 

The duo had returned back to the nursery, but Veronica was growing annoyed. Not with Malcolm, but being forced to wait things out and no one addressing the fact that Jeremy wasn't home. 

She gathered Malcolm up in her arms and went in search for Danny or Nina, whomever she spotted first. Malcolm was reluctant to detach from his toy, but he didn't protest too long. Nina saw her brother in the kitchen washing the few dishes that gathered. 

"Danny?" Veronica called out.

"Hey." He said and turned around. She walked further into the kitchen with Malcolm still attached to her hip.

"Thank you for this, it really meant a lot." Veronica said honestly. It hadn't turned out exactly how she imagined, but she was still grateful.

Daniel shook his head. 

"It was all Nina's idea, thank her." Daniel said. 

Veronica nodded. 

"Yes thank her for me too." Veronica replied.

"Do it yourself, she's only in the bedroom. I'll go get her." He offered. 

"No no, that isn't necessary. I need to go anyways." Veronica interjected. 

He looked at her puzzled by her sudden urge to leave.

"Why?" He asked. 

"I have a curfew to keep and besides he's not coming.." Veronica replied.

"Jeremy?" Daniel inquired. "He probably had to work. He will be home soon." Daniel tried to convince her to stay. 

"It's alright. I understand." Veronica said. She hoped he wouldn't push the topic any further and he didn't. He reached for Malcolm and saw her to the door. 

         

Veronica decided to take advantage of the time she had before the taxi would be around to pick her back up. It wasn't long, but she needed to do something to pass the time. She decided to take a stroll throughout the neighborhood. She hadn't been on this side in a while, since her arrest to be exact. 

Truthfully, she missed it. She knew she shouldn't, but she did. 

She was debating on rather or not to go inside. She was right there, so close. But she had came too far to throw things away now. 

Just as she was walking pass, a patron was exiting. 

"Veronica?" A scruffy voice called behind her. "Damn it's been forever...you're looking good." He commented. 

"Thanks." She said not bothering to turn around. 

"You coming in? First drink is on me." He offered.

"No..I'm good." She said and kept walking. 

Veronica had finally made it home, just in time too. She said goodbye to the taxi driver and headed inside. 

She entered the small house and noticed she wasn't alone in the living room. 

"You made it home on time, barely." Kathy remarked. 

"Sorry.." Veronica said. 

"It's okay. This doesn't count as a strike yet." Kathy replied. "Have a seat, our meeting is about to start now that you're home." 

Great Veronica thought as she took her seat. 

***This wasn't exactly how I pictured the welcome home lunch going. Jeremy would have been there if my game didn't keep crashing at their house..After the third attempt I gave up and did the best with what I had***

Chapter Eighteen: Day one, again

The next morning, Anne came in earlier than usual. She was excited to tell Veronica the good news, that she was leaving and she'd have her freedom again. Well mostly. Of course she wasn't being left to her own devices without a few ground rules but they were nothing extreme. Anne had went over the email the Judge sent her so she was prepared. She felt confident enough to answer any questions Veronica might have and give her some encouraging words as she left. 

Anne wasn't sure why she felt so differently about Veronica. She felt more protective and more concerned when it came to her. It was as if she needed Veronica to heal as much as Veronica did, maybe even more. It could have been because she had children to get clean for, but Veronica wasn't her first junkie client. Maybe her story touched her, maybe it caused her to feel sympathy that she had never felt before. Whatever reason it may have been, Anne was determined to see to it that Veronica stayed clean and lived a happy and healthy life from this day forth. 

The time had came for Veronica's appointment. Her final one in the rehab facility. It was bittersweet, but Anne couldn't show it. She couldn't outright miss one client more so than the rest. Veronica was escorted by the nurse and she made her way in Anne's office. Anne smiled but tried to show some restraint too. 

"Have a seat." Anne said, trying to keep her enthusiasm to a minimum. Veronica did as she was told and took the seat on the other side. 

"We will be doing something a little different today." Anne informed Veronica. 

Different? Veronica thought. Oh no, what now?.. She let her mind wander while she waited on the other woman to finish.

"How so?" Veronica asked slowly, fearing what her answer might be. Veronica was assuming the worst as every millisecond passed by. 

"Well for starters, I spoke to the Judge about you." Anne said. She was beating around the bush, wasting time or so Veronica thought. She didn't want to be baited. She wanted answers, now!

Oh God. She did it, didn't she? She must have told her I wasn't ready to leave. I am never getting out of this place. Veronica thought. Her heart to begin to beat a little faster after her recent depressing thought. 

"We spoke about your release." Anne said.

Go on Veronica silently urged her as she nodded her head. 

I'm going back to jail, that must be it. That's why it's taking her so long. Another negative thought crossed Veronica's mind. 

"You're going-" Anne began.

to jail? Veronica mentally finished for her. 

-home". Anne finished. "You're being released Veronica!" Anne added.

Veronica's heart was still beating rapidly as she listened to Anne. She had just been told she was getting out of here, she'd be a free woman but it felt so unreal. She just knew it was a joke. It must have been because it was just too good to be true. Veronica sat with her eyes closed. Maybe she was dreaming. 

Yeah that was it, I must be dreaming she tried to convince herself. 

"Veronica?" Anne called out. 

She noticed the change in Veronica's demeanor. She expected her to smile, cry with tears or joy, do something. But she hadn't reacted. She simply shut her eyes and Anne couldn't understand why.

"Yes?" Veronica answered without opening her eyes. 

"I know this is big news, but it's okay to be happy. You've earned it. Jump up and down, shout..just do something." Anne encouraged. She was throwing a victory party for Veronica inside her head, but it was as if Veronica never showed up. Doubt begin to crept in her head, but she quickly pushed it away.

She's just nervous Anne said as if trying to quiet the voices in her head that were telling her she was wrong, that she had jumped the gun and made a big mistake. 

Veronica opened her eyes and looked at Anne. 

"I'm not sure what to say..it feels like a dream." Veronica said truthfully. 

"I know." Anne said. "It's a lot to take in, but Veronica I believe in you. You're ready and now is your chance to prove it." 

Veronica simply nodded her head in response. Anne didn't try to push her to talk anymore. She briefly went over what her release meant in detail. She couldn't return home right away. Instead she would be at a halfway house until she proved she was stable enough to go back home. She would have to do random drug tests and attend mandatory daily therapy. She would also have to work, but luckily for her the Judge had partnered with a local restaurant. They agreed to hire Veronica and others like her part time to do clean up work. 

Veronica had no questions for Anne. She didn't want to tell her that she was scared, and thought she wasn't ready. If Anne thought she was then she must be she kept telling herself. 

"You can do this." Anne told Veronica. "I believe in you, your family believes in you, you just have to too." Anne encouraged. 

"Thank you." Veronica said. Anne smiled and told her goodbye. 

As Veronica was turning the doorknob, about to tell the Nurse she was done, Anne spoke one last time.

"I am here if you ever need me." Anne said. Veronica nodded. She had a folder in her hand, it went over the details of her release some more. She assumed Anne also slipped her number inside. 

"I'm ready." Veronica told the nurse that was waiting on her. The nurse smiled for the first time since Veronica had been here. 

"Congratulations." She said and lead her back to her room. 

Once back inside her room, Veronica began to pack. She didn't think, she just acted as if she was a robot. She was too numb to think. She opened the small suitcase and placed it on top of the dresser. She hadn't had much so packing didn't take long. 

Her last step was to make her bed up for the last time. She wiped away a tear as it fell from her eyes. She took a deep breath once her task was complete. There was a knock on the door. The final knock she'd hear in this place. She called out that was was coming. 

"Okay, here we go." She told herself as she grabbed her luggage. 

Veronica had climbed in a small van. Inside was the driver, a redhead woman and another woman with black hair. Both were strangers to her. She said hello and took her seat. They were driven to a small house just outside of the bustle of the city. The redhead was the first to get out and motioned for the other two ladies to follow suit. Veronica did was she was told.

The woman pulled out a set of keys and opened the door. 

"Welcome to your new home." She greeted as she stepped inside. Veronica exchanged a look with the woman beside her as they went inside. 

"I am Kathy, I am your therapist and I am also in charge of you ladies here. I will monitor when you leave and when you come. Pretty much everything runs through me. In the morning we will have a short therapy session over breakfast and once more before you go to sleep." The redhead explained. She had a warm voice, but Veronica could tell she wasn't a push over. 

"You can leave without me looking down your backs, however I need to know where and for how long. Also you have a curfew. Don't get too excited. As I'm sure you were already told, there will be drug testing in addition to alcohol tests. Lastly we work on a two strike and you're out system." Kathy went on.

"Curfew?" The woman beside Veronica repeated under her breath. 

"Any questions?" Kathy asked. The two women were silent. 

"Good." Kathy said. 

A quick tour followed Kathy's introduction to the halfway house for Veronica and Shane. Kathy informed the ladies that they would be making a trip to the store so they needed to pack quickly and be ready just as quick.

"Yap yap yap, I thought she'd never shut her trap." Shane said as she breezed past Veronica. 

They were now in their room, one they'd be sharing throughout their duration here. Veronica remained silent.

"The name's Shane." Shane greeted as she turned to face Veronica. 

"Hey. I'm Veronica." Veronica replied. 

"Cool." Shane said. 

"I can't wait to get out of this place." Shane commented. 

Veronica nodded in agreement. Veronica began to unpack her things and Shane continued to talk her ear off, but she nodded her head anyways. She didn't need to piss off the woman she'd be sharing a room with for who knows how long. 

Jeremy found himself back at the football field. It was a place of comfort for him. He had dreams of playing ever since he started high school, but he just couldn't bring himself to trying out. He didn't participate in any school activities actually. It was his way of keeping his distance. He thought if he kept a wall up no one would know his secret. He preferred to stay hidden and in the shadows, but that didn't mean he didn't have friends. He just kept them at a distance too, well except one. Lauren

Lauren was the only one he let inside, the only one who got a real glimpse at him. She was also meeting him here soon. 

It was like deja vu as Lauren rounded the corner that lead to the school's football field. Jeremy and her hadn't spoke much after the kiss and she was partially to blame. She didn't know how she felt afterwards. It was all so new to her. She had never really had anyone in her life other than her family. She was beginning to regret ever having kiss him. But not because she didn't want to, she did. She just didn't know what it meant. She felt confused so she blew Jeremy off every chance she got. But when he called her, sounding desperate for someone to talk to again. Her heart had dropped as she listened to him on the other end of the phone. He needed her, so she pushed her feelings aside and found herself agreeing to meet him. 

"Jeremy" She called out once she got close enough. 

He turned his head after hearing his name called. He spotted her and turned around completely to greet her. 

A vision of their kissed flashed through Lauren's mind as he turned around. It was if the memory was haunting her. She mentally pushed it away. This wasn't about her, this was about Jeremy. And right now making sure he was okay was her only concern. 

"Hi." Jeremy said softly. 

"Hey." Lauren returned his greeting. She forced herself to smile, trying to appear as if their kiss still wasn't playing throughout her mind.

"Thank you for coming." He said. 

Lauren shrugged her shoulders, silently saying it was no big deal. 

"Um..my mom's out. Well kinda, she's at a halfway house right now." Jeremy began to explain.

"Oh?" Lauren said not sure what else to say. 

Jeremy nodded. 

"I don't know how I feel about it." He said and raked a nervous hand through his hair. 

Lauren followed his hand for a moment before looking back at his face. 

"Are you happy?" Lauren asked. 

Jeremy heard her, but couldn't answer. Inside he knew that he wasn't. He didn't want her to come back in his life only to disappoint him and Malcolm again. He shook his head. 

Lauren furrowed her brows together, confused. She had thought this would be good news to Jeremy. His mother had successfully completed rehab meaning she was clean. Didn't he want that? 

"I just can't help but feel like she'll only hurt us again." Jeremy said at last, allowing himself to be open and vulnerable once more. 

Lauren sighed softly. She hated seeing the hurt in Jeremy' eyes. She hated not being about to do anything about it even more. A kiss wouldn't fix this. His pain was too deep, so deep he probably didn't know where to begin to heal himself. 

He needed words of encouragement, he needed hope. But how? What could she say? Would her words really make a difference, could they really help?

She glanced over and noticed the sun begin to set. Daylight was fading away, transitioning to night. 

"A new day." Lauren said softly. 

"Hmm?" Jeremy asked a bit confused. 

She didn't bother explaining, but instead took his hand. Her mind wasn't on their kiss or the regret she felt over it any longer. It was on Jeremy and cheering him up. She lead him to the bleachers and they made their way all the way to the top. 

"A new day." She repeated. 

"What does that mean?" Jeremy asked. 

"The sun is setting and when it rises again a new day will start." Lauren explained. 

Jeremy didn't think she was making any sense, but kept that to himself. 

She smiled. 

"I'm not crazy, Jeremy. What I'm trying to say it tomorrow is a new day. And with that comes a second chance. A second chance for us to do what we didn't today. A second chance to be better." Lauren began to explain.

Jeremy silently followed along, trying to connect the dots. 

"You have to forgive your mother. It'll be hard, nearly impossible. But you have to. She has a second chance to get things right. How can she if you never let her?" Lauren finished. 

Jeremy knew she was right. She couldn't be his mother if he wasn't willing to let her. It was his turn to smile. 

He was suddenly overcome with hope. He didn't forgive Veronica right away, that would still take some time. But he didn't hate her so much at that moment. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around Lauren. She jumped in surprise, but didn't move away. She felt slightly uncomfortable, but happy at the same time. It was hard for her to explain.

"You're great, you know that?" Jeremy said and pecked her softly on the cheek. "Just..great." He said happily.

The words melted her heart. Lauren no longer felt regret over their kiss. She was still slightly anxious and knew they had to address it soon though. 

****HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I am finally free! That's right, no more Summer school. Can we have a moment and just celebrate that? Okay celebration is over. During my little hiatus I was challenged to improve my writing through with a project. I felt bad for leaving the story, but between studying, classes and the project I just couldn't bring myself to open my game and take all these pictures. Forgive me? :) please. Anyways I am back. Unfortunately Fall semester is approaching soon. But I don't want to take a hiatus again. I'll just have to plan my time better. I think once I start classes again I will upload bi-monthly instead of every Sunday though. Also I will probably be uploading on Thursdays, but I haven't made my mind up just yet. We shall see! I hope you guys enjoy the update too.